They Came From The Deep

Not long ago I mentioned how TCFTD is basically a cave of technological neaderthals who whine about the sliding scale of increasingly-advanced technology versus quality-of-actual-game, sitting around waiting for either the next Elite Beat Agents to come out or for the iPhonosaurus to eat us in our homes, amid screams of 'uptight' and 'hipsters'. We made it pretty obvious that we are among those concerned that console gaming is getting worse, although it's something we've skirted around outright addressing. Like most elephants in TCFTD's room, he's a friendly enough guy, but it's time we had a talk.

The argument is always, frustratingly, summed up best by someone who isn't you, of course; and David Jaffe (God of War creator), makes a point that is forehead-slappingly obvious in retrospect. The Wii, which most of us saw before release as being the 'uniter' of videogames, was hopefully going to redress the balance between younger people who liked them and older people who saw them as kids' stuff, or impenetrable. In not very much time at all, that former group are now acting more like the 'older people', shouting about the 'casuals' who have ruined their entertainment (hell, I'm one of them). With the WiiU coming up, we are months away from boarding up the windows and erecting shelters stocked with copies of Mario 3 and Street Fighter Alpha; quizzing visitors at gunpoint as to what their favourite part of Final Fantasy IV was.

Wait, never mind. It's got Mario. We're all good.

Those who know me are aware that I do, in some perverse measure, enjoy particularly terrible articles of culture...bad movies, bad books, bad music; whatever, chances are I will, as a guilty pleasure, try to find the best in it. It's easy to hate. It is far easier to criticise than it is to create, and this is something I try to take into account before I attack anything. After all, who am I to talk - I am the bottom-feeding, blog-running scum of the internet, the kind who is always eager to opine but do little to contribute. Not only that, it is unnecessary - to say Limp Bizkit is bad is like saying The Beatles are good; it is basically a worldwide recognised opinion. Really - why am I bothering? This isn't so much beating a dead horse as it is going to the trouble of digging it back up out of the ground first.

With many of you lovely people reading the positive reviews of indie hit Frozen Synapse, we have seen a gigantic upsurge in the numbers of people playing. As such this is the second in a series of guides to get you new players up to speed with tactics and strategies that people who have been playing since the beta regularly employ.

We have before us an ordeal of the most tactical kind. We have before us many, many long turns of struggle and susurrous suffering. You ask, what is our policy? I will say: it is to wage war, by vatform, bullet, and explosive, with all our might and mind. That is our policy. You ask, what is our aim?  I can answer that in one word: it is victory, victory at all costs. Victory…however long and hard the road may be.

But what is our strategy?

So, E3 came and went with the awkward passing reminiscent of a postman your wife once had an affair with. It's strange. I loved last year's E3. Primarily being a Nintendo fan, I was very excited by the prospect of the 3DS. It seemed like something fun; a real event with lots of good things being announced (read: more sequels for the easily impressed; read: me). Yet here I am, a year after its announcement, two months after its release, still without one and interest levels in owning one remaining as low as ever. I don't even have the initial enthusiasm for the WiiU I did for the 3DS.

With many of you lovely people reading the positive reviews of indie hit Frozen Synapse, we have seen a gigantic upsurge in the numbers of people playing. As such this is the first of a series of guides to get you new players up to speed with tactics that people who have been playing since the beta regularly employ.

Frozen Synapse is a game about combat, and with the terrain generator as it is this combat will be in and around buildings, doorways and cover; so the first thing for a new player is to acquaint themselves with how to properly turn a corner or enter building. A superficially simple task but one you will do time and time again, so it pays to get it right.

When a fantasy is powerful is enough, we want or expect reality to cohere with it, even if that's evidently problematic. It seems logical that game environments, if compelling enough, will provoke the same kinds of responses.