They Came From The Deep

As you've no doubt noticed TCFTD hasn't been updated as often as every I or Rathe would like: too many interesting stories have come and gone with out a mention here or on the TCFTD twitter feed, being too substantial for a mere "Look at this" on Twitter and not quite long lived enough for a full blown editorial. In future these stories will be live at The Course.

Four score and seven internet ages ago—also known as one earth year—you were as inane as you are today, if not more so, it seems inconceivable…but Facebook tells me it is so.

HELLO WORLD.

So…hmm apparently I write here, as you can see after my long hiatus I am rather out of practice at this 'blogging'  phenomena, so in exchange I bring you word of aural delights from across the 'intersea' crafted by my own fair hands…my debut album 'Emergence'

Alright, so, against my will, more or less, I have been forced to watch, of all things, CSI: Miami a lot lately (you know how days in with the family can be). I can't be the only one in the world who only watches the show up until the Daltrey scream just to see the one-liner.


Sadly, weeks of this have led to one of my unhealthiest obsessions yet: David Caruso. I've been paying far more attention to the way the man carries himself as Horatio Caine than I have actually watching the plots unfold. And so, on the basis of some very haphazardly-scheduled episodes across multiple seasons, I present to you, the Official TCFTD Guide To Acting: The David Caruso Way! Shades at the ready, it's time to crack some jokes and skulls!

There are plenty of sites compiling the best of whatever any particular niche or sub genre has turned over this week. But here at TCFTD we often find ourselves regularly reading these posts in the first place for the comments. So without further ado we present the best in the weeks funny, dissident opinions: line them up, laugh at them, take them out back and have them quietly shot.

It is not often I write to dispute, especially not with Andy Graham of Frozen Synopsis since I feel he gives generally good advice, at a pace that is rapidly exceeding our own, and would recommend new Frozen Synapse players read his blog. Indeed this is less a critique of his article, rather the phenomenon his article reminded me of.

The replay, in place of the after action report, has risen to dominance and prominence in our gaming culture with the rise of video sharing on sites like youtube but what does it actually offer to a player, particularly a competitive one.

With many of you lovely people reading the positive reviews of indie hit Frozen Synapse, we have seen a gigantic upsurge in the numbers of people playing. As such this is the fifth in a series of guides to get you new players up to speed with tactics and strategies that people who have been playing since the beta regularly employ.


So you've got your strategy, you have your unit knowledge, you even know how to clear rooms effectively and you still feel you are suffering unduely…well here is a collection of assorted tips that might just make the difference.

I'm sure there's other, newer, more important news in the world of Nintendo this week, but no. It's my weekend (despite this going out on a Monday) and I'm going to whine about what I damn well please. No, you shut up and listen. I'm still just trying to get over the Resident Evil: The Mercenaries 3D save data debacle. How does this happen? I know we've mentioned before our fears that gaming is regressing as technology gets better, but how do you fail to implement a file delete system? Is this tomorrow: we no longer worry about having our saves wiped at random - instead, we play through as thoroughly as we can in the constant knowledge that it's the only time we will be able to do so? Want to talk to that NPC you missed? Want to pick up that extra health pack? That'll be £40, please.

That's 235 of these things. For any Americans reading, this is how we measure inflation in Britain.

With many of you lovely people reading the positive reviews of indie hit Frozen Synapse, we have seen a gigantic upsurge in the numbers of people playing. As such this is the fourth in a series of guides to get you new players up to speed with tactics and strategies that people who have been playing since the beta regularly employ.


Meet the sniper: greet the sniper, make him at home, get to know him…this man will win you games.

With many of you lovely people reading the positive reviews of indie hit Frozen Synapse, we have seen a gigantic upsurge in the numbers of people playing. As such this is the third in a series of guides to get you new players up to speed with tactics and strategies that people who have been playing since the beta regularly employ.

"Shotgunners are overrated."

A controversial statement but explosive units are at the heart of the appeal of Frozen Synapse, they provide the dynamism which prevents the game from descending into what FPS players will know as camping…for much the same reasons as in real life—stay still and soon your limbs will be moving all directions.

Steve Albini is a lyrical genius…there I said it, but before we get to the crudities of 'proof'  it is times for some pretty, word-boxy puzzles.

As you might expect, moderate to fair profanity after the jump…alongside odd re-imaginings of 80's noise rock—you were warned.

Not long ago I mentioned how TCFTD is basically a cave of technological neaderthals who whine about the sliding scale of increasingly-advanced technology versus quality-of-actual-game, sitting around waiting for either the next Elite Beat Agents to come out or for the iPhonosaurus to eat us in our homes, amid screams of 'uptight' and 'hipsters'. We made it pretty obvious that we are among those concerned that console gaming is getting worse, although it's something we've skirted around outright addressing. Like most elephants in TCFTD's room, he's a friendly enough guy, but it's time we had a talk.

The argument is always, frustratingly, summed up best by someone who isn't you, of course; and David Jaffe (God of War creator), makes a point that is forehead-slappingly obvious in retrospect. The Wii, which most of us saw before release as being the 'uniter' of videogames, was hopefully going to redress the balance between younger people who liked them and older people who saw them as kids' stuff, or impenetrable. In not very much time at all, that former group are now acting more like the 'older people', shouting about the 'casuals' who have ruined their entertainment (hell, I'm one of them). With the WiiU coming up, we are months away from boarding up the windows and erecting shelters stocked with copies of Mario 3 and Street Fighter Alpha; quizzing visitors at gunpoint as to what their favourite part of Final Fantasy IV was.

Wait, never mind. It's got Mario. We're all good.

Those who know me are aware that I do, in some perverse measure, enjoy particularly terrible articles of culture...bad movies, bad books, bad music; whatever, chances are I will, as a guilty pleasure, try to find the best in it. It's easy to hate. It is far easier to criticise than it is to create, and this is something I try to take into account before I attack anything. After all, who am I to talk - I am the bottom-feeding, blog-running scum of the internet, the kind who is always eager to opine but do little to contribute. Not only that, it is unnecessary - to say Limp Bizkit is bad is like saying The Beatles are good; it is basically a worldwide recognised opinion. Really - why am I bothering? This isn't so much beating a dead horse as it is going to the trouble of digging it back up out of the ground first.

With many of you lovely people reading the positive reviews of indie hit Frozen Synapse, we have seen a gigantic upsurge in the numbers of people playing. As such this is the second in a series of guides to get you new players up to speed with tactics and strategies that people who have been playing since the beta regularly employ.

We have before us an ordeal of the most tactical kind. We have before us many, many long turns of struggle and susurrous suffering. You ask, what is our policy? I will say: it is to wage war, by vatform, bullet, and explosive, with all our might and mind. That is our policy. You ask, what is our aim?  I can answer that in one word: it is victory, victory at all costs. Victory…however long and hard the road may be.

But what is our strategy?

So, E3 came and went with the awkward passing reminiscent of a postman your wife once had an affair with. It's strange. I loved last year's E3. Primarily being a Nintendo fan, I was very excited by the prospect of the 3DS. It seemed like something fun; a real event with lots of good things being announced (read: more sequels for the easily impressed; read: me). Yet here I am, a year after its announcement, two months after its release, still without one and interest levels in owning one remaining as low as ever. I don't even have the initial enthusiasm for the WiiU I did for the 3DS.

With many of you lovely people reading the positive reviews of indie hit Frozen Synapse, we have seen a gigantic upsurge in the numbers of people playing. As such this is the first of a series of guides to get you new players up to speed with tactics that people who have been playing since the beta regularly employ.

Frozen Synapse is a game about combat, and with the terrain generator as it is this combat will be in and around buildings, doorways and cover; so the first thing for a new player is to acquaint themselves with how to properly turn a corner or enter building. A superficially simple task but one you will do time and time again, so it pays to get it right.

When a fantasy is powerful is enough, we want or expect reality to cohere with it, even if that's evidently problematic. It seems logical that game environments, if compelling enough, will provoke the same kinds of responses.

The next post is due later this week so why not join the RSS feed and be notified when it goes live.

The next post is due later this week so why not join the RSS feed and be notified when it goes live.



The Beta:
Frozen Synapse is sneaking its way out of beta with the last major hurdle, single player, being shaped as I write this; so before anything changes too much I thought I'd give you an overview of the changes to the game…

The next post is due later this week so why not join the RSS feed and be notified when it goes live.

Foreword: We now return to our irregularly programmed schedule; apologies for the delays (they had an almost-reason…promise). Good things and bad excuses after the jump.

The Game:
Frozen Synapse - "Bite-size, critically-acclaimed hardcore strategy with a striking sci-fi aesthetic" in the creators words; "one of the most incredibly tactical, yet beautifully simplistic battle of wits" in ours.


The Goal:
To ascend the game's global rankings leaderboard (top 10 for Indiana, top 100 for Rathe) and maybe even have some fun in the process.

The next post is due later this week so why not join the RSS feed and be notified when it goes live.

The Game:
Frozen Synapse - "Bite-size, critically-acclaimed hardcore strategy with a striking sci-fi aesthetic" in the creators words; "one of the most incredibly tactical, yet beautifully simplistic battle of wits" in ours.


The Goal:
To ascend the game's global rankings leaderboard (top 10 for Indiana, top 100 for Rathe) and maybe even have some fun in the process.

Last week in my 3DS launch firing-line, I briefly mentioned Tesco’s attempt to lower their pre-order price before being matched almost instantly by Amazon. Amazon may as well have sent someone down to Tesco’s website maintenance department, sought out the man who made the change, kicked him in the balls, then killed his family, then spray-painted ‘EVERY LITTLE HELPS’ onto his car, which they trashed.  Just to make absolutely sure they know whose number one.

In recent years the novel has dropped in my estimation, whilst I can not truthfully say I've not enjoyed many good novels, I find myself increasingly tasked to justify their space on my bookshelf. The novel seems so often to reside in the bad lands between the short story and poetry —and on an entirely separate axis to non fiction; large ponderous books that lack sufficient information or entertainment value to justify this great bulk.

As you may have noticed TCFTD now has a twitter, admittedly a slightly inactive one, onwards and upwards dear readers.

Advance Wars at its simplest is an abstraction; an 'ideal war': it is no war you have ever seen, but it is in its own way deeply reminiscent of any modern war. However its almost geometric simplicity and focus on the superiority of attack brings to mind the 'ideal war' not of Clausewitz himself—who oft stressed the superiority of defense — but the Clausewitz many late Prussian and early German strategists imagined and assumed to exist.

Being a young British male, I occasionally feel twinges of regret whenever I am reminded of how little I actually know about 80’s rap narrative. I feel left out when I overhear my friends' conversations about the “flow” of The Chronic, or the ‘phat rhymez’ of Illmatic. It’s a talent of my generation’s that I’ve missed out on, along with ‘your mum’ jokes and an encyclopaedic knowledge of each Britain’s Got Talent winner. However, there’s no time like the present, and I seek to rectify this.

Personally, I don't think 3D is much of a blessing for cinema - it's far more technologically advanced and impressive than it ever has been, granted, and it has renewed some interest in film as a medium that's been dying a slow, steady death. On the other hand, I very much feel 3D sullies the purity of a film. Its application has fallen into one of two categories: films that use the clarity of its visuals, CGI and 3D as their primary selling point (Avatar, which, incidentally, I am dedicating my life to avoiding); or cynical post-production cash-ins (Clash of the Titans, for example). Either way, given the choice, Joe Public is usually going to spend a few pounds more seeing the 3D version, so regardless of why the filmmakers chose to add 3D to their film, financial reasons are always going to be at least part of it. Then again, compare and contrast to the original era of 3D movies - at least looking back it felt like they were being more honest; that they and everyone else knew it was just a cheap gimmick to draw in the crowds.

But really, don't get me wrong - I'm not saying that 3D took anything away from the storytelling masterpiece that was 1953's Robot Monster. No sirree.

I have a poster of this boxart on my wall, actually. It makes me feel better whenever I hear about a particularly bad videogame, film, or natural disaster; knowing nothing else can be quite this miserably desperate.

This is about the third or so blog I've started —and the first to be a collaborative effort between me and this other fella— the twist is, this one actually has some pretty good little critiques on: cinema, video games, music, books, and other twee little distractions humanity likes to think matter when pretending the world isn't a gigantic hunk of doomed coal. So stay around, we may actually have some posts and pictures and arguing.