They Came From The Deep

Four score and seven internet ages ago—also known as one earth year—you were as inane as you are today, if not more so, it seems inconceivable…but Facebook tells me it is so.

I'm sure there's other, newer, more important news in the world of Nintendo this week, but no. It's my weekend (despite this going out on a Monday) and I'm going to whine about what I damn well please. No, you shut up and listen. I'm still just trying to get over the Resident Evil: The Mercenaries 3D save data debacle. How does this happen? I know we've mentioned before our fears that gaming is regressing as technology gets better, but how do you fail to implement a file delete system? Is this tomorrow: we no longer worry about having our saves wiped at random - instead, we play through as thoroughly as we can in the constant knowledge that it's the only time we will be able to do so? Want to talk to that NPC you missed? Want to pick up that extra health pack? That'll be £40, please.

That's 235 of these things. For any Americans reading, this is how we measure inflation in Britain.

Steve Albini is a lyrical genius…there I said it, but before we get to the crudities of 'proof'  it is times for some pretty, word-boxy puzzles.

As you might expect, moderate to fair profanity after the jump…alongside odd re-imaginings of 80's noise rock—you were warned.

Not long ago I mentioned how TCFTD is basically a cave of technological neaderthals who whine about the sliding scale of increasingly-advanced technology versus quality-of-actual-game, sitting around waiting for either the next Elite Beat Agents to come out or for the iPhonosaurus to eat us in our homes, amid screams of 'uptight' and 'hipsters'. We made it pretty obvious that we are among those concerned that console gaming is getting worse, although it's something we've skirted around outright addressing. Like most elephants in TCFTD's room, he's a friendly enough guy, but it's time we had a talk.

The argument is always, frustratingly, summed up best by someone who isn't you, of course; and David Jaffe (God of War creator), makes a point that is forehead-slappingly obvious in retrospect. The Wii, which most of us saw before release as being the 'uniter' of videogames, was hopefully going to redress the balance between younger people who liked them and older people who saw them as kids' stuff, or impenetrable. In not very much time at all, that former group are now acting more like the 'older people', shouting about the 'casuals' who have ruined their entertainment (hell, I'm one of them). With the WiiU coming up, we are months away from boarding up the windows and erecting shelters stocked with copies of Mario 3 and Street Fighter Alpha; quizzing visitors at gunpoint as to what their favourite part of Final Fantasy IV was.

Wait, never mind. It's got Mario. We're all good.

So, E3 came and went with the awkward passing reminiscent of a postman your wife once had an affair with. It's strange. I loved last year's E3. Primarily being a Nintendo fan, I was very excited by the prospect of the 3DS. It seemed like something fun; a real event with lots of good things being announced (read: more sequels for the easily impressed; read: me). Yet here I am, a year after its announcement, two months after its release, still without one and interest levels in owning one remaining as low as ever. I don't even have the initial enthusiasm for the WiiU I did for the 3DS.